Cancer and how I fell in love with the indoor trainer

Man that title is wack. 

    My cancer journey started in 2018 while competing in the TransAm bike race - A 4200 mile cross-country challenge from Astoria, OR to Yorktown, VA. I'd just crossed over the Rocky Mountains and into the grassy plains of Montana when the severe intestinal pain and rolling blackouts started. That's what the kids call it when it hurts so bad the lights go out. The physical exertion combined with dehydration had triggered my bowels to collapse. 

I rested in a shack for four days hoping the pain would pass. It didn't, my race was over but I refused to admit it. A lovely woman named Janice found me and took me to the emergency room. Barely comprehending where I was I required immediate surgery - made it to the hospital, hope the doctor is good. 

"My guts are on the table and ready for inspection, sir."  

    When I woke from surgery I learned two fellow TransAm racers (John Egbers and T.C.) also lay in the hospital fighting for their lives, not all of us made it. At the start of the race I was at my strongest. Post surgery, I was at my weakest. I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself let alone hop on the bike. My body just wouldn't allow it, it was a burden not a vehicle. I was mentally destroyed and physically broken. But I was alive and I can work with that. I consider myself lucky. 

"Keep moving til you can't keep moving. We are all survivors until we aren't."

    There are whole stories of loss, pain and guilt here. The surgery found multiple tumors that turned out to be sarcoma a type of soft tissue and bone cancer. Treatment would need to continue beyond surgery. With scary chemotherapy on the menu I was given the title of Cancer Survivor and with it a life sentence, not a death sentence. 

    Living in a basement apartment and sleeping on a couple pallets of wood my living situations aren't always ideal. I hid in the basement isolated from the world. Chemotherapy shut down my immune system and prevented my body from healing. My scarred up legs tell stories of misadventure and abuse. Sickness is one thing but a small infected cut could be deadly. Riding outside in the city was too risky and I needed to find a way to maintain fitness while retaining my sanity. 

    The smart trainer and a small fan were set up below a tiny ground level window. The bicycle framebag held my infusion pump and IV instead of bikepacking gear. By this time all of my hair had fallen out and the breeze on my scalp felt glorious! But also served as a reminder to be careful. The drugs I was taking prevented any muscle building and my goal was base miles with no injuries, don't die.

"Take'er easy friend, don't let the guts fall out. "

    At first my rides were very low exertion. I discovered Zwift and other training platforms. I rode virtual routes on FulGaz and daydreamed of finishing my next ultra. I treated it like playing a video game or watching TV. Speaking of video games, in another life I had the 4th highest ranked Shaman in all of World of Warcraft. Probably got me cancer. 

I kept logs of my food and fluid intake/output. My body temp and heart rate throughout the day. I got a hold of every test and scan my doctors would release to me. I compared nutrition against my blood work and injuries to PET scans! My body became an experiment and the trainer was another tool I could measure it with. Combined with Zwift it held a virtual familiarity of a MMORG. Dang video games got me again. 

Post treatment, I really started putting the trainer to use. I discovered my functional thresholds and target paces. I combined breathing techniques with anaerobic workouts. Made adjustments to bike fit and concentrated on cadence and form. Unlike the road I could ride as fast as wanted without holding back. The basement was safe space to test my limits. You cannot get a big enough fan.

During the pandemic lock down my housing situation had shifted. The trainer was relocated to a dingy unfinished basement.

Hornets would come out of the walls.
It wasn't safe. 

"That gross basement was my safe connection to the outside."  

My girlfriend and I would have workout dates using TrainerRoad.

I'd hop a group ride or race with Zwift. I even used my trainer to pre-ride a virtual version of the Borrego Springs course. Which is notable now that I have the in-person course record there. 

Same bike - Same course - Less spoke cards

24hr IRL Borrego

 

Cancer aside, I'm stronger than I was in 2018. I love the outdoors, planning routes and exploring new places. And I love my indoor trainer. It will never replace my outdoor rides, but it certainly has made them easier.